¡Descubre el PARAÍSO Rural Escondido de Remoña, España!
¡Descubre el PARAÍSO Rural Escondido de Remoña, España!: A Review (and a bit of a rant)
Okay, amigos, buckle up. Because I've just returned from the literal and metaphorical paraíso that is ¡Descubre el PARAÍSO Rural Escondido de Remoña, España!, and my head's still spinning. This isn't your cookie-cutter, sterile hotel experience. This is… well, this is Remoña. And let me tell you, it's got personality.
Getting There & Getting Around (¡Ay, la carretera!)
First things first: Accessibility. They say it's good. I didn't need it, but I saw ramps, and I know they've made an effort. Good for them! Car park [free of charge] is a lifesaver, especially because reaching Remoña involves a scenic, but sometimes terrifying, drive. Airport transfer? Si! Thank the heavens, because after those winding roads… I needed a ride! And a stiff drink. (More on that later.) Taxi service is also available, should you be brave enough to venture beyond the hotel's charms. Parking, however is Car park [on-site].
The Room: My Little Sanctuary… with a View!
My room. Oh, my room. Let's just say I’m easily convinced, but the Air conditioning blasted cool air, which was a godsend during the afternoon siesta. Air conditioning in public area? Yep, thankfully. Non-smoking rooms? Absolutely. Thank God for that. I'm too sensitive for smoke now. It was a non-smoking room and had windows that open! Glory be!
I loved the Blackout curtains, essential for a good night's sleep, especially after a few too many glasses of Rioja. The Free Wi-Fi was a godsend (and I love that they had it in all the rooms - Free Wi-Fi in all rooms!), although the signal in the outer reaches of the resort was a tad meh sometimes. Internet access – wireless? Check. Internet access – LAN? Apparently, yes, though I was happy with the wireless. Internet? Of course, that's the basics!
But the best part? The view. Seriously, the view. Waking up to that… breathtaking. And the little extras? Bathrobes, slippers, fresh towels every day (thanks, Daily housekeeping!). Complimentary tea and coffee maker? Yup! Free bottled water? Claro que sí! A mini bar if you felt like a splurge. Desk and laptop workspace but frankly, I preferred to be outside.
Room Features (The Little Things that Matter)
- Additional toilet: For those who appreciate a little extra… space.
- Alarm clock: Still feels quaint, frankly.
- Bathtub: Yes! Soaked for hours.
- Bathroom phone: Seriously? Who uses these anymore? Still a thing.
- Carpeting: A bit old-school, but clean.
- Closet: Plenty of space for all my travel finery.
- Coffee/tea maker: Essential for a caffeine addict like me.
- Hair dryer: Saved me a lot of trouble, as always.
- High floor: Didn't get one, but the view was stunning regardless.
- In-room safe box: Definitely appreciated for peace of mind, though I don't think the locals would have stolen anything!
- Interconnecting room(s) available: Handy if you're traveling with a gaggle of friends, but I was happy solo.
- Ironing facilities: For those who actually iron.
- Linens: Crisp and clean.
- Mirror: Required for all the selfies you'll be taking!
- On-demand movies: Hmm, didn't try. Too busy exploring.
- Private bathroom: Always a plus.
- Reading light: Perfect for late-night bookworms.
- Refrigerator: Useful for keeping the vino nice and chilled.
- Scale: Ugh. Maybe I’ll skip that one.
- Seating area: A comfortable spot to relax.
- Separate shower/bathtub: Luxury!
- Shower: Powerful and refreshing.
- Smoke detector: Always a good idea.
- Socket near the bed: Hallelujah!
- Sofa: Comfy and inviting.
- Soundproofing: Mostly effective – some noisy birds, but hey, it's nature!
- Telephone: Again, feels a bit antiquated.
- Toiletries: Adequate.
- Umbrella: Essential, because the weather can be tricky.
- Visual alarm: (For those who need it).
- Wake-up service: Never used it. Always woke up naturally, filled with the joy of being in Remoña!
- Window that opens: Fresh air – can't beat it!
- Extra long bed: Did I mention I’m tall?
Let's Talk Cleanliness and Safety (Because, You Know, The World)
Okay, so COVID. It's a thing, and I was a little anxious. But Remoña? They delivered. Anti-viral cleaning products? Check. Daily disinfection in common areas? Yes. Hand sanitizer everywhere? Absolutely. Hygiene certification? I saw it. Rooms sanitized between stays? Apparently. Staff trained in safety protocol? They seemed it. Staff trained in safety protocol? They were, and I felt reassured. Individually-wrapped food options? Present and correct. Physical distancing of at least 1 meter? Mostly observed. Professional-grade sanitizing services? I'm guessing so. Room sanitization opt-out available? I didn't, honestly. Sanitized kitchen and tableware items? Definitely. Safe dining setup? Yes. Shared stationery removed? Thank goodness, who still uses pens?
They also had the practical stuff like fire extinguisher, smoke alarms, and security [24-hour]. Plus, a Doctor/nurse on call and a First aid kit. Feeling safe is important!
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking (¡Ay, la comida!)
Oh, the food! This is where Remoña really shines. Eating is a big part of the spanish experience, to me, there has to be a great eating experience.
Main Restaurant: A symphony of flavours
The restaurant – it's a must-visit. I loved the A la carte in restaurant, and they had Buffet in restaurant too! Breakfast was a Breakfast [buffet], and it was perfect. Waffles and bacon with a gorgeous view? Seriously. The breakfast service was amazing. They offered Asian breakfast, which I didn't try, but how exotic! Coffee/tea in restaurant? Si, por favor! Plenty! Desserts in restaurant? Oh, the desserts! The cakes! My waistband is still recovering. Happy hour? Yes! The perfect time to enjoy a cocktail. International cuisine in restaurant? Yes, a mix of Spanish and international dishes. Salad in restaurant? Healthy options were available. Soup in restaurant? Great for a chilly evening. Vegetarian restaurant? Yes, and they had plenty of choices. Western breakfast? Yes. Western cuisine in restaurant? Yes, of course!
Other Options (and My Favourite Discovery)
- Bar: Essential, obviously.
- Poolside bar: Perfect for those lazy afternoons.
- Bottle of water: Complimentary, always appreciated.
- Coffee shop: For those caffeine cravings.
- Poolside bar: The best place to sip a cocktail and watch the sunset. Pure bliss.
- Room service [24-hour]: The ultimate comfort.
- Snack bar: Convenient for a quick bite.
My absolut favourite was the poolside bar! I seriously spent a whole afternoon just… there. Sun, breeze, a gin and tonic, and THAT view. Seriously, the Pool with a view is incredible. They also have a terrace, very nice, and the drinks are great. Happy hour? Oh yes, and it’s happy.
Things to Do (Beyond Just Lazing Around)
Okay, so I’m a laid-back kind of traveler, and the idea of "activities" can sometimes stress me out. But Remoña manages to strike a perfect balance.
Relaxation Station
- Body scrub: Didn't try.
- Body wrap: Didn't try.
- Foot bath: Nope.
- Massage: Oh, yes! The massage was incredible. Deep tissue, right where I needed it. Seriously.
- Sauna, Spa/sauna, Steamroom, Spa, and all that jazz? Yes! Definitely.
- Swimming pool and Swimming pool [outdoor]: Gorgeous. The
¡Ay, Dios mío, Remoña! Let's get this adventure rolling… or crawling, knowing me. My "itinerary" is less a rigid plan and more… a suggestion. A suggestion heavily peppered with my own unpredictable energy level and a healthy dose of "winging it."
Día 1: Llegada y Confesiones con el Queso
- 14:00 – Llegada a la Casa Rural Remoña (supuestamente). Oh, the joy of Spanish GPS. It said it was "just off the main road." After a half hour of bouncing around dirt tracks that could make a goat dizzy, I finally arrived. And, oh, the view! Mountains that look like they were painted by God Himself. I almost kissed the grumpy-looking owner, but decided against it. He's probably seen it all.
- Impression: First impression? Paradise. Though my car, bless its soul, might disagree.
- 15:00 – Desempacar (o intentar). Found three lost socks. I have no idea where they came from.
- 16:00 – La Gran Prueba del Queso. (and a slightly unhinged emotional breakdown) This is why I came. Remoña is famous for its cheese. Famous. I marched (more like stumbled, thanks to the altitude) to the local cheesemaker. The woman was a force of nature, with hands stained yellow from what I hope was cheese.
- The Cheese, The Trauma: Now, I love cheese. But I might have gone a little… overboard. I tried every cheese. The strong, the mild, the creamy, the… questionable-smelling one. My stomach is now a swirling vortex of deliciousness and… possibly regret. The owner then asked me if I was alright after the cheese tasting, and I burst into tears because the cheese was too good. My body and my emotions were a bit overwhelmed. I'm not sure I've ever felt so intensely about dairy before… or maybe it was just the altitude.
- 19:00 – Cena: Attempt at cooking. I bought some local chorizo from the market earlier, and the smell alone was worth the trip. I hope I don´t start a fire. (Spoiler alert: I almost did.)
- 21:00 – Balcony Gazing and Self-Reflection (with a glass of wine). Sitting on my balcony, staring at those ridiculously gorgeous mountains. Feeling utterly… content. The wine is helping. Maybe. I think I'm actually enjoying this solo trip. Maybe. The dark is a bit spooky, though. Am I surrounded by wolves? (Probably not. But still…)
Día 2: Senderismo y Revelaciones (and a possible lost boot)
- 08:00 – Despertar (or, more accurately, being awakened by birdsong). No alarm needed. Mother Nature's got this.
- 09:00 – Desayuno (with slightly burnt toast). It's going to take me a week to master the art of the toaster.
- 10:00 – Senderismo (¡con entusiasmo!). The "easy" trail, they said. Famous last words. I was feeling confident and the sun was glorious. I set off, ready to conquer… a small hill.
- The Trail of Tears (and Triumphs): Let me tell you, "easy" in Spanish is a lie. The trail was stunning, yes. With waterfalls and flowers and views that took my breath away. But then came the rocks. And the incline. I was panting like a dog. At one point, my boot came off. Literally. I had to climb back down, get it, and spend twenty minutes lacing it up again. My face was red. My thighs were screaming. But I kept going. And the view from the top? Worth every damn agonizing step.
- 14:00 – Merienda y Descanso. After my "triumph" I found a little bar with my favorite cheese. The bartender was a local, that was a man with more stories than he knew, I spent an hour listening to her.
- 16:00 – Trying To Explore the Caves. I'm not as brave as I seem, I thought I'd go check out the famous caves of Remoña. I found the entrance and instantly felt my stomach churn. I'm not good with enclosed spaces.
- 18:00 – A Brief, Emotional Encounter with the Local. On the way back, I met this guy. I thought he was the owner of the bar, turns out he was a local, his name was Miguel, and the mountains here were his home, his life, and he spent three hours of his day making sure the trails are in good condition. He was lovely, he was passionate, and I felt a sudden, embarrassing lump in my throat. There's something about the pure, unadulterated love of nature that just… gets to me.
- 20:00 – Dinner. The best chorizo stew, I almost cried.
Día 3: A Little Bit of Everything and a Whole Lot of Me
- Sunrise: A gentle, peaceful, perfect sunrise.
- Morning: Explored a nearby town. Found a tiny bakery and ate three pastries, don´t tell anyone. Local Church: More solemn than I expected. The silence. The history. The feeling of a million prayers whispered over the centuries.
- Afternoon: I have a confession: I'm a terrible photographer. I keep trying to capture the beauty, but my photos are… underwhelming. The light, the colors, the feeling… I just can't translate it.
- Evening: Wine, cheese, and more balcony gazing. Maybe I'll learn to play the guitar. Probably not. Definitely not.
- Bedtime: I will miss this place when I leave.
Imperfect, Unfiltered, Real:
Look, this trip isn't perfect. I'm clumsy, I get overwhelmed, I'm probably going to eat too much cheese. But it's mine. It’s about finding beauty in the unexpected, connecting with the place, and laughing at myself. And that, my friends, is what makes a truly unforgettable journey. So, if you happen to find yourself in Remoña… be prepared for cheese, mountains, and the occasional emotional outburst. And maybe try to learn some Spanish so you can talk to the locals. They might just change your life. Now, where's that wine?
¡Castillos Franceses de Ensueño: Descubre el Proche Château que te Robará el Corazón!
¡Hola! ¿Por dónde empiezo si soy un completo desastre en la cocina, pero AMO la comida mexicana?
¡Ay, mi alma! Mira, si eres un desastre, pero te late la comida mexicana… ¡bienvenida al club! Mi primer intento de hacer tortillas fue un desastre épico. Parecían discos voladores que rebotaban contra la pared. Literalmente, rebotaban. Empecé con lo básico, muy básico: ¡arroz! Sí, suena tonto, pero dominar un buen arroz mexicano (con tomate, cebolla y ajo, please!) es la base para todo. Y no te frustres si se te pega, a todos nos pasa. Lo importante es intentarlo, y ¡ponle amor! Y, para empezar, busca recetas SUPER sencillas: frijoles refritos, guacamole (¡aunque sea del súper! Después te animas a hacerlo casero). Verás que poco a poco, te vas sintiendo más cómoda. Y no te avergüences de nada. Mi suegra, que es una chef increíble, un día quemó el mole (¡y era MOL!).
¿Cuál es el secreto para que las tortillas de maíz queden perfectas? Porque las mías… bueno…
Ah, las tortillas, el santo grial. Mira, el secreto… ¡no existe un secreto! Es práctica, práctica, práctica. Y la masa, la masa es clave. Usa masa de maíz de calidad, NO la que encuentras en el supermercado (a menos que vivas en un lugar remoto, en ese caso, ¡ánimo!). Busca una tortillería cerca de ti, pregunta a la gente dónde hacen las mejores. Si puedes, compra incluso la masa ahí. Otro truco… que la plancha esté MUY caliente, pero no tanto que se quemen, ¡ojo! Y no las voltees mil veces, eso las reseca (¡lo aprendí a las malas!). Y, por cierto, mi primer intento... ya te lo conté, ¿no? Parecían... digamos, "arte moderno abstracto". Ahora, después de AÑOS, ya más o menos, y aun así, a veces me salen mal. ¡Pero no importa! ¡Con salsa se arregla todo! Y un buen sartén… ¡fundamental!
¿Qué es lo más difícil de aprender a cocinar comida mexicana?
¡Uf! Para mí, el mole. ¡El mole! Es un monstruo. Un monstruo delicioso, complejo, lleno de ingredientes misteriosos. Mi primer intento fue un desastre pegajoso, dulce, y, honestamente, un poco asqueroso. (¡Perdón, abuela, si estás leyendo esto!). Es que el mole lleva muchísimos ingredientes, y el equilibrio es fundamental. Un poquito de esto, un poquito de aquello… ¡y de repente, BANG!, ya no parece mole, parece una salsa rarísima. Pero, ¿sabes qué? Después de varios intentos fallidos (y mucha frustración, ¡lloré!), aprendí a apreciar la paciencia que requiere. Ahora, no soy experta, pero hago un mole decente. ¡Y la satisfacción es brutal! Además, lo que más me costó fue entender los chiles secos. ¡Diferenciar entre todos los chiles! ¡Y el nivel de picante! Eso, y el tiempo. La comida mexicana lleva TIEMPO. Mucho tiempo.
¿Es necesario usar chiles frescos para hacer comida mexicana auténtica? ¿O puedo usar chiles enlatados?
Mira, aquí va mi opinión impopular: ¡La vida es corta! Si no tienes tiempo para ir al mercado, comprar chiles frescos, limpiarlos, desvenarlos, rostizarlos… ¡usa chiles enlatados! No te avergüences. Obviamente, el sabor no es el mismo. Los chiles frescos son mejores. ¡Mil veces mejores! Pero, si quieres empezar a cocinar comida mexicana, y los enlatados te facilitan la vida… ¡adelante! Lo importante es empezar, ¡y disfrutar! Yo, a veces, uso chiles secos, chiles frescos, chiles enlatados... ¡lo que haya! Y nadie se ha muerto por eso (¡que yo sepa!). El chiste es experimentar, jugar con los sabores, y, sobre todo, ¡divertirte! Y, por favor, ten cuidado con el picante. ¡Es una trampa!
¿Qué hago si me quedó muy picante la salsa? ¡Auxilio!
¡¡¡AH, EL PICANTE!!! Mi peor enemigo (y mi mejor amigo, a veces). Si te pasaste de chile.... ¡primero que nada, respira! No entres en pánico. Hay varias cosas que puedes hacer. La más obvia: agregar más ingredientes (cebolla, tomate, lo que sea), pero sin picante. Azúcar (¡sí, lo digo!), un poquito, para balancear. Crema (¡la amada crema!), quesos (¡siempre quesos!). Leche, pero con CUIDADO, no te arruine el sabor.. Un truco que a veces funciona: ¡métela al refrigerador! A veces, el frío ayuda a atenuar el picante. Y si nada funciona... ¡a llorar al río! (O a pedir pizza, no te juzgo). A mí, una vez, me pasó con un chile habanero… ¡creí que me iba a morir! Literalmente. Y la salsa la tiré. Pero aprendes, ¿sabes? Aprendes. Y ahora, antes de agregar chile, ¡siempre pruebo! Siempre. Y aun así, a veces… ¡BOOM! ¡Picante al extremo!
¿Algún consejo para marinar la carne? Es que siempre me queda dura.
¡Ahhh, la carne! Mira, la carne… es un arte. Y la marinada, ¡la clave! La marinada correcta te puede salvar de una carne correosa. Mi consejo: ¡ácidos, ácidos, ácidos! Jugo de limón (¡mucho limón!), vinagre (¡pero poco, no te pases!), cítricos… ¡Lo que sea! Pero, cuidado con el tiempo de marinado. Si la dejas mucho tiempo en el ácido, la carne se cocina… ¡y se endurece! (¡lo aprendí a las malas, claro!). Unas horas (¡o incluso minutos, dependiendo del corte!), es suficiente. Otro consejo: ¡aceite! Aceite de oliva, de aguacate… ¡lo que tengas! Y especias. ¡Muchísimas especias! Orégano, comino, pimienta… ¡Y cilantro, siempre cilantro! Además, el tipo de carne. No es lo mismo un filete que una carne para deshebrar. Y, por supuesto, paciencia. Y un buen cuchillo (¡fundamental!). Y… bueno, a veces, simplemente, te sale dura. ¡Pasa! No teBuscar Hotels
